**Stars and Destiny

[Sileauniamh]

Subject: Stars and Destiny
From: [e-mail] (Star of a Star)
Date: 07 May 2003 22:43:22 EDT

Prelude --- 18 years ago. Somewhere amongst the stars ....



The stars shown in the heavens like tears in the night sky ...

I'm afraid.

He turned to regard her, eyes so dark and mysterious yet so full of love.  She was so beautiful, or would be once she was born and grew to womanhood. 

Do not fear, child.  Your name is written in the stars.

She turned to Him then, tears shown like the stars that danced about them on her cheeks.

What if he choses her?

The question had merit He had to admit uncomfortably, the possibility was there.  Destiny might be written but nothing was ever set in stone.  His voice was soft and slightly rough with emotion for He understood now her fear. 

Then you will embrace your destiny alone, child. 

He embraced her then, drawing her close.  She laid her head upon His chest for some time just listening to the sound of His heart beat and watching the stars swirl in the night sky through tear blurred eyes.  She was afraid, afraid he would choose the other, and why shouldn't he?  The other was beautiful and powerful and they could be very good together.

Deep in her heart however she knew that he was meant for her, as she was meant for him and that together they would be something ballads were written of.  If only ...

He belongs to me. 

She said it with a more confident tone than she felt, but once the words were out she began to believe.

He belongs to me, and I to him.  Like the stars together in the night sky. 

He smiled into her hair, and kissed the top of her head in benediction.  He truly loved this child of His.  How He hoped that she would succeed. 

Go then, child.  The gateway to life awaits you.  Go then, to your destiny.

She slipped from His arms, a small shy smile on her lips.  Ahh, what a woman she would become in time.  He wondered briefly if the Star Knight could possibly resist her.  Then she turned and strode to the gate blowing Him a kiss of farewell before stepping through. 

He watched until she was gone and then in turn cast His gaze downward to the living realm to watch over His child as she reached for her destiny.

.......................................................

The labor had lasted for nearly two days and the woman was barely conscious though she held on with an inner strength that belied her delicate form.  Three midwives bustled around the neat little room, each with an almost identical look of concern etched on their faces. 

It's been so long ...

She's been bleeding so heavily ...

If the baby doesn't come soon ...

Suddenly the baby shifted, just slightly, but it was enough and she was born amid a rush of blood and fluids into the waiting midwife's hands.  They tried to stop the bleeding, they packed the woman with thick absorbent cloths, but they soaked through in minutes.  The first midwife had cleaned up the baby girl, and wrapped her in a soft blanket.  She walked the few paces that separated them and handed the bright eyed baby girl to her struggling mother.  Every woman should at least hold her baby once. 

The woman looked down into the deep blue eyes of her daughter, wondering briefly what color they would eventually become.  Her lips were nearly colorless with blood loss but she kissed her child in benediction and named her.

Star.

Then she died.

[Sileauniamh]

Subject: Re: Stars and Destiny
From: [e-mail] (Star of a Star)
Date: 07 May 2003 22:45:28 EDT

(Thank you Bas' mun for providing this most excellent piece of work.)





It was written so long ago in a book that no one would ever read.  Yet all of our names are included.  Penned by a hand that first needed to conceive of itself then language, the details of this ledger were only divulged as we each lived our lives, moment by moment.


There is a page, however, that has been seen by mortal eyes.  And in this, we may see how each one of us will be impacted by the words contained in the page, on a deeply personal level.


There is Fate.  And there is Destiny.  


Fraternal twins and the only children of Time, they often reflect darker images of the other in such clarity, that we often see them as the same being.  We are wrong.  Destiny is written.  Fate we choose to follow.  


It by Destiny that stars and men are born.  Fate is the sailor who is guided home by selecting the correct star to follow.  Destiny is the flicker of starlight that a soldier looks up at and whispers to a distant love, so that by Fate, miles away that beloved may look up under the same sky and know that at that precise moment she is missed.  Destiny opens our lives to us like a book, Fate shows us which words we choose to read.


It had been written long ago, and it was destined to happen.   There would be a new star that would shine briefly in the heavens then fall.  Sharp, like the pain of birth into the new world this luminescent and radiant life will walk on feet that had never touched the ground.  The words on her page will tell us only that she will find Him.  


Him.  The one who has looked under night skies for longer than human lifetimes and waited.  Destined to be a man without a calling, a half lived pantomime that had resonance but lacked depth.  He would find himself at his most desperate times still wishing on a star like a child who still had Faith in Hope.  And a star would fall for his wish.


We would be at the end of the single page that is alone, known to mortal eyes.  The next page is written as both knight and starchild pave their Fate.


Destiny called them to meet.


Fate is what happens next.

[Sileauniamh]

Subject: Re: Stars and Destiny
From: [e-mail] (Star of a Star)
Date: 07 May 2003 22:46:00 EDT

The small village of Ah'kesterl was a peaceful place.  It was here that the child Star had grown in love and peace for eighteen years.  She learned to hunt from her foster brothers, to shoot a bow, to track and dress deer for the table, these things came easily to the young girl, far more easily than the skills of the home, which she learned as well though with less enthusiasm.  Her childhood was as rich as any who lived with their true parents, though Star's mother had died at birth and her father was a mystery her mother never named.  All of that shattered however one fine spring day, when a large group of bandits that had been harrying travelers on the road decided to pay a visit to Ah'kesterl.

She ran, oh how she ran.  Ran as though the devil himself chased her, and in truth she wasn't far off, if you consider the pair of men chasing her for unsavory reasons devils.  Her bow had sang death more times than the young girl cared to count, the horror of using that bow to kill folk and not deer still fresh in her mind.  She had run out of arrows long ago however and despite her best efforts her brothers lay dead in the tall grass back near the village.  Now she ran, ran because she had only a little dagger and no one left to defend her.  She ran like the deer fast and sure, nearly flying through the forest, her dark hair like a banner behind her.  She fled down familiar paths that were only faint impressions to the men that chased her, their feet tangling in the hidden roots and undergrowth where hers did not.  At long last she saw what she'd been hoping to find not far ahead and slowed her deer-swift pace a bit, allowing her pursuers to catch up.  Closer ... yes, closer ... they were almost upon her now, their laughter raising the hairs on her nape and making her flesh crawl.  She leapt then as she'd done a thousand times before, though those memories included her now dead brothers and laughter not survival, catching the overhanging tree branch and swinging herself up.  Her pursuers were not so lucky stepping just a shade or two too far dropping them into the wild boar trap that had been so cleverly hidden only moments before. 

Star didn't know how long she lay on that tree branch torn between exhaustion and grief.  Over the treetops she could see the thick smoke rising from what had been only moments ago her home, tears blurred that vision until she was forced to look away or scream at the injustice of it all.  There was nothing left for her back there but more bandits, and she hadn't the skill or the weapons to defeat those yet.  Instead she waited until dark, though it was uncomfortable there crouched in the tree, the discomfort meant she was still alive and for now that was enough.  Silently she crept down from the tree, her movements sure even in the darkness.  Neither man had uttered a sound since they fell into the pit, and frankly Star was a little glad that they'd died, or at least she hoped that they were dead.  She walked around the edge of the pit until she found the right spot and climbed down.  She was grateful that the darkness hid all but the faint outline of the men's bodies, as she searched the men for whatever they might have.  Grotesque as it might seem, she had only what she was carrying and it wouldn't get her far.  Practicality was the heart and soul of that little farming village of Ah'kesterl, and so Star was practical even now.  A fairly good dagger, a handful of small coins and a quivver of half decent arrows.  It wasn't much, but when you had nothing it was a treasure trove.  Star climbed out of the pit and walked back down the trail a ways to where she'd discarded her own worn bow.  It wasn't much either, but her brother had given it to her for her birthday several years past and now it was all she had left of him. 

She started walking almost due west.  There were no real roads out this way, but the direction of the capitol city where they brought their goods to trade wasn't hard to remember.  The cover of darkness would hide her well enough and the stars would be her guide.  She looked at those stars as she walked with the same fascination she had even as a little girl.  Almost like she was trying to remember something someone had once said about those stars but couldn't quite grasp it.  She shook her head and kept walking. 

She was beyond exhaustion when she finally reached the gates of Rosehaven.  It was midmorning now and she'd walked the whole night through.  Dimly she realized that the gate guards were looking at her oddly, she couldn't see herself so she couldn't know how her hair was wild and tangled, and her face smudged with dirt and tears.  She couldn't see the smears of blood on her shirt where she'd wiped her hands after looting the two bandits, or the haunted look that was in her eyes.  Star heard one of them give a shout, but it seemed to come from so very far away.  Star felt one of them grasp her arm, and turned to say something to him but darkness rushed in at that moment and claimed her for it's own. 

[Sileauniamh]

Subject: Re: Stars and Destiny
From: [e-mail] (Star of a Star)
Date: 12 May 2003 22:33:10 EDT

She woke to the disjointed sounds of voices buzzing in her ears, and thought for a moment that her brothers were hassling her adopted mother about breakfast, they were always hungry it seemed.  Then the sounds took shape and reason and she realized that it was not her brothers, but the sound of healers and other folk trying to tend an almost overwhelming number of patients that now occupied the large room she found herself in.  A sudden pang clenched her heart as she realized anew that her brothers lay dead in the tall grass near her now burnt out home.  All she had left of them was her ..  she sat up in a sudden rush.  Where was her bow?  Her arrows?  Her things?  She looked about frantically not recognizing the people or the place that she was, bereft of her bow, her arrows, her things she never felt so alone, so lost. 

And for the first time since all this came about .. the star child wept.  As stars are akin to the tears of the night sky, so too were her tears like falling crystalline stars from heaven.  Each drop that fell like a tiny bell ringing in the chaos of the healing ward, soundless to the rushing healers and groaning ill, but not soundless to one.  No, her tears would wrench his heart for reasons he could not explain, for he was not there to witness them.  Yet even miles apart he would feel that awful sadness, that terrible loneliness and recognize it in himself. 

After a time, her largely unnoticed weeping slowly wound down as exhaustion won out over pain, and the star child drifted off into restless slumber once more. 

Yet she dreamed ...

The stars whirled crazily overhead ... or perhaps it was the spinning of the girl beneath them as she danced round and round. Forgotten here in this place was the pain of loss, and the fear of being alone in a strange new place. Here there were only the stars. Dizzy at long last she fell into a laughing heap and rolled onto her back watching the stars tilt and whirl as her vision slowly returned to normal. Her hair was a pale shadow strewn across the grass and her eyes danced like the stars themselves. First she smelled the roses that had suddenly appeared in this enchanted glade. Even in the relative darkness they shown with a wide spray of color. Soft pink, snow white, summer yellow, pale peach and a deep blushing crimson to name a few, studded the landscape about her like a haven of roses their sweet smell soothing her wild spirit. She sat up looking at those roses in almost childish delight, plucking a single sweet smelling yellow rose and tucking it behind her ear. It was then she noticed the stars had gathered low on the horizon. A veritable host of stars converging about a lone man who seemed to be looking towards her. He seemed so very far away, the glade a vast distance between them, even though she could see him clearly. Cerulean eyes so dark they nearly mirrored the velvet of the sky above locked with those changeable grey-green eyes that shifted so fluidly with his moods, and in that moment the star child knew longing like she'd never know before. Her heart leapt into her throat and she was suddenly taken with the keen edged desire to run to him, this stranger she'd never met yet seemed to know deep in her heart. Yet as she struggled to rise the roses closed in on her and she found herself trapped by them. Her hand reached beseechingly to him as those roses closed over her and just before she lost sight of that star man she thought she'd seen him reach for her as well though that host of stars held him tight in their glittering grip.

She woke still reaching for him, returned to awareness again amongst the chaos of the healing ward.  Yet somehow this time she didn't feel so very lost and alone.  She slowly rose from her little cot, carefully moving out of the way of the busy healers as they rushed to and fro trying their best to heal what appeared to be dozens and dozens of folk who were terribly, terribly ill.  Star had never seen such illness before.  Suddenly the need to find her things was less important as helping these poor overworked healers as they tried to care for far more sick than they had staff to care for.  Brushing back her pale hair from her face she simply inserted herself into the work by going about and gathering up a stack of clean cloths and a small basin of cool water to tend the fevered brows of the hordes of sickly folk.  She was no healer, but she could help with what she could. 

Besides, she though with a gentle smile curving her lips for the first time.  She had found him at last.  Despite the fact that she did not yet know who he was, it didn't matter.  He was coming.  This she knew, though she could not explain how she knew it.  She had only to await his arrival.

[Sileauniamh]

Subject: Re: Stars and Destiny
From: [e-mail] (Rae NAlsia)
Date: 13 May 2003 01:13:33 EDT

>*< They said, that before he was even born to this world, a mark was set upon his heart.   That mark was in the shape of a star, and he had always felt a link to her.   She was the daughter of his mother's old dear friend Kyna, her name was Deyaniera Elen Dulambor, and he had often said it like it was a prayer.   His armor, all his armor ... had stars worked around the edges instead of normal scrollwork, leather steel or Mithril it was all the same. He was known as the Star Knight.   Gil-galad Alexander Sinda had been pleased, that he had so far exceeded the skills of even the teachers in Hartford Castle that the Order had made a title just for him.  
     Then things had happened.  Dark things, best left for campfire tales.  Yet they were spoken of in soft whispers, in alleyways and places where things best left away from the light of day thrived.  Those that say that the pen is mightier than the sword do not take into account the power of the spoken word and the swiftness in which it travels.  At first he had refused to believe them.  Names had been spoken.  One name in particular.  Daniel DeAuster.  Sometimes Gil amused himself, by imagining what he would do should said young worthy ever make his way into his hands. That wasn't fair, not really.  For after all, and the hell of it for Gil, was that she had gone to him willingly.  Knowing.
    Nothing was more terrible than a man with no anchor, with nothing to warm him, especially a man that had been marked ... what was that?  He stood on one of the balconies at Starhost, light from a guttering candle on the table next to him making his eyes change from grey to brilliant green.  He leaned his forearms on the balcony rail, his head tilted as if he tried to hear a sound meant only for his ears.>*< 

Where are you?

>*< It had been a soft sound like a tiny bell yet it had grown somehow to fill him up inside, and he felt that terrible loneliness, that sadness like a real and palpable thing he could touch with his own two hands.  Yet in that moment he reached out his hand, as if he could touch ...  could it be?  After all this time, could it truly be?>*< 

Gil-galad Alexander Sinda
The Star Knight,
First of the Order of the Circle